Peace is...
- following God's purpose for your life
- having the courage to follow His vision, even when no one else understands
- surrounding yourself with a positive network of people who truly support you
- being okay with uncertainty because you know God has your back
- when prayer becomes your default instead of worry
Life becomes much easier when these five elements of peace have been mastered. It does not mean that trouble stops coming, but it does mean you will react differently when difficult situations arise. Things that used to break you down to tears will now just cause you to pause, pray and let go. Those "friends" who encouraged you to drown your sorrows at the bar will be replaced by those who instead offer a listening ear or a Bible verse for encouragement. It even means recognizing that everything is a choice and that if your circumstances are less than ideal, you do have the ability to change them. The consequences are not always easy, but if you are following His purpose and vision for your life, you will have victory.
Strive to keep the peace in your life, and do not let anyone steal your joy!
Showing posts with label God's purpose. Show all posts
Showing posts with label God's purpose. Show all posts
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
An Unexpected Co-Host
Last night I had the unexpected pleasure of co-hosting the Change My Behavior Blog Talk Radio Show (http://www.blogtalkradio.com/lybogan) with Minister Lorraine Y. Bogan. I recently joined Blog Talk Radio and was surfing the Christian shows currently on-air and came across Minister Bogan's show "Let's Talk About It." I found the call-in number and dialed in. I assumed I'd just be a passive listener, but right after the Blog Talk Radio intro I heard, "Caller, are you with us? What's your opinion on this topic?" I remained silent because I just KNEW she wasn't talking to me. Sure enough she repeated her question, and our dialogue began. We had a good 25 minute Q&A session that is currently posted to the web site.
I don't know how many listeners will hear that show, but it does feel good to be part of something that could be a blessing to others. This has given me the inspiration to move forward with my own Blog Talk Radio show (http://www.blogtalkradio.com/livinglifeonpurpose1), but I'll need your help! The radio show will follow the format of the blog: taking topics I've posted about previously and talking about them on air. For example, the first show will be about hearing God's calling on your life, remembering that time when God's purpose became clear, and what happened next. Ideally I'll have guests that are dealing with those issues. That's where you come in. I need guests! If you are interested in being on the show for any topic or have a show topic suggestion of your own, please email me at livingonpurpose1@gmail.com.
I look forward to hearing from you!
I don't know how many listeners will hear that show, but it does feel good to be part of something that could be a blessing to others. This has given me the inspiration to move forward with my own Blog Talk Radio show (http://www.blogtalkradio.com/livinglifeonpurpose1), but I'll need your help! The radio show will follow the format of the blog: taking topics I've posted about previously and talking about them on air. For example, the first show will be about hearing God's calling on your life, remembering that time when God's purpose became clear, and what happened next. Ideally I'll have guests that are dealing with those issues. That's where you come in. I need guests! If you are interested in being on the show for any topic or have a show topic suggestion of your own, please email me at livingonpurpose1@gmail.com.
I look forward to hearing from you!
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Why Not Start Now?
Like many, I wait in anticipation of the coming year. It always feels like a new beginning and a fresh start. The attitude of regret for not completing goals in 2009 turns into excitement of all I'll accomplish in 2010. With the new year only days away, I want to encourage you to start now. Yes, this is a time of reflection, but instead of focusing on all you didn't do, focus on the actions you can take now to move closer to your purpose. Who said you had to wait until January 1st? For months I've been saying, "Next year I'm going to..." or "When January hits, I'm really going to..." You have probably been saying those same things, but how about replacing those future phrases with some "right now" sayings, such as, "Today I'm going to contact..." or "As soon as I'm done reading this blog post I'll..." 2010 could very well be the best year of your life (I know I'm expecting miracles), but you have to plant the seeds now. I'm sure there are several things that can either be added to or crossed off your to-do list today. Maybe catching up on this blog was one of them. :-)
In 2009, my biggest breakthrough was hearing God's voice again as He gave me clarity of purpose. If you've been following my journey, you know that purpose has to do with re-establishing myself as a full-time business owner and blessing others through that business. My challenge in 2009 was taking action once God confirmed my purpose and trusting Him fully. It's definitely a mindshift to go from thinking a job or person is your ultimate provider to realizing that God takes care of ALL needs. That doesn't mean I never worry, but I'm quicker at recognizing His blessings (financial and otherwise).
To move forward with my goal I've made a point to reconnect with some old business contacts and put myself and my services out there more. Today that meant sending off information about advertising, contacting a business coach and making sure I stay on top of recent project inquiries. For you, this may look like prepping for an upcoming interview or pulling out an old exercise tape (yes, I said tape...some of us still have VCRs).
:-) It may even be opening your journal back up and writing another few lines of your bestselling book. For those who feel their purpose is in corporate America, it may mean sending out holiday greetings to your multifunctional team or doing an outline for a project that formally kicks off in January.
There are only a few more days before 2009 ends. What are you going to do?
In 2009, my biggest breakthrough was hearing God's voice again as He gave me clarity of purpose. If you've been following my journey, you know that purpose has to do with re-establishing myself as a full-time business owner and blessing others through that business. My challenge in 2009 was taking action once God confirmed my purpose and trusting Him fully. It's definitely a mindshift to go from thinking a job or person is your ultimate provider to realizing that God takes care of ALL needs. That doesn't mean I never worry, but I'm quicker at recognizing His blessings (financial and otherwise).
To move forward with my goal I've made a point to reconnect with some old business contacts and put myself and my services out there more. Today that meant sending off information about advertising, contacting a business coach and making sure I stay on top of recent project inquiries. For you, this may look like prepping for an upcoming interview or pulling out an old exercise tape (yes, I said tape...some of us still have VCRs).
:-) It may even be opening your journal back up and writing another few lines of your bestselling book. For those who feel their purpose is in corporate America, it may mean sending out holiday greetings to your multifunctional team or doing an outline for a project that formally kicks off in January.
There are only a few more days before 2009 ends. What are you going to do?
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Do Something!
I have been so frustrated lately. Between day job stress, neverending family commitments and lack of "me" time, my mood has not been very positive. It's been easy for me to channel the restlessness and frustration into complaint. After a straight week of this, I realize it's getting me nowhere except even more restless and more frustrated. I need to re-read my blog and take my own advice. :-) The best way to fix a negative situation is to actively look for ways to change it. The same is true for you. Yes, God is in the miracle business, but it's hard for a miracle to find you when you're not setting yourself up to receive it. How are you going to find the mate God has for you if you sit at home every night complaining about being single? How are you going to find that new, better job if your resume hasn't been updated since 1994? How will the world discover your talent for singing if you won't even commit to doing a solo in the church choir?
Today, I ask you to do something. Take at least one small step toward changing your situation. It can be as simple as putting down that donut, making a phone call, crossing something off your to-do list or saying a prayer. My one small step is to get out of the house for a minute to get my mind off of the craziness of the day job. My resume has also officially been updated.
Your turn. What are you going to do?
Today, I ask you to do something. Take at least one small step toward changing your situation. It can be as simple as putting down that donut, making a phone call, crossing something off your to-do list or saying a prayer. My one small step is to get out of the house for a minute to get my mind off of the craziness of the day job. My resume has also officially been updated.
Your turn. What are you going to do?
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Day 7: The Reason for Everything
Today's passage concludes the first week of moving toward God's purpose for our lives. It reminds us that everything is for God's glory and should be treated as such. From waking up in the morning to the sun setting at night, it's all for Him. As mentioned in previous posts, it seems so easy to see God in the big or happy things - winning the lottery, getting a promotion, finding the love of your life. It's not so easy when you're faced with struggle or just living the day-to-day drama that life can be. For example, I know it's hard to see the glory of God when someone is doing me wrong.
Today's question asks us to think about where we can become more aware of God's glory in our daily routine. The place that comes to mind for me is in my children's chatter right after I come home from work. I am an only child and though I can be outgoing, I crave quiet, especially in the transition times. Most days, rather than getting 5 or 10 minutes to come in the house, lay down my things and relax, I'm inundated with the dog jumping and the kids' non-stop talking. Most days I appreciate it, but other times I just want my peace and quiet. Instead of thinking that way, I can see how blessed I am to not only have children but to have children who want me to be an active part of their lives.
How has God's glory manifested itself in your life, and how can you be more aware?
Today's question asks us to think about where we can become more aware of God's glory in our daily routine. The place that comes to mind for me is in my children's chatter right after I come home from work. I am an only child and though I can be outgoing, I crave quiet, especially in the transition times. Most days, rather than getting 5 or 10 minutes to come in the house, lay down my things and relax, I'm inundated with the dog jumping and the kids' non-stop talking. Most days I appreciate it, but other times I just want my peace and quiet. Instead of thinking that way, I can see how blessed I am to not only have children but to have children who want me to be an active part of their lives.
How has God's glory manifested itself in your life, and how can you be more aware?
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Day 5: Seeing Life through God's View
We're almost a week into our journey to purpose, using "The Purpose Driven Life" by Rick Warren as a guide. I hope you've been learning some new things about yourself and are growing closer to God.
Day 5 introduces the idea that life is both a test and a trust. We are continually tested from the way the we react to a friend who just lost his job to the way you treat the waitress who still hasn't brought you the Diet Coke you asked for 10 minutes ago. As Christians, it's up to us guard our reactions when life gets tough. It's in these moments that God teaches us about ourselves and opens us up to receive even more of His blessings.
God's entrusts us with many things during our earthly life - relationships, children, houses, clothes, money, etc. We are called to be good stewards over these things, but that doesn't always happen. Have there been times when you yelled at someone over something small just because YOU were having bad day or spent your last $75 on a cute pair of shoes knowing you should've used part of it for gas money instead? God gave us things so that we could take care of them and perhaps use them to help Him blessing another person...not to be mistreated, hoarded, or used irresponsibly.
Today's question asks you to consider two things:
1. What's recently happened in your life that you now realize was a test from God?
2. What are the greatest matters God entrusted to you?
I can name a couple of situations in my life that feel like tests from God. One is definitely my struggle in corporate America. I realize that if I hadn't gone through that situation and really listened to God's voice, I would not be working toward my purpose at all. In fact, this blog wouldn't exist either. :-) A few people have read that story and expressed how much it helped them take a look at their lives and their next moves. It's amazing to hear how God turned tragedy into good. Another situation is driving. I'm usually a very patient person. I try my best not to give in to road rage, but it's hard not to get annoyed when there are 20 minute construction delays, people cutting you off on the highway only to slow to 50mph once they get in front of you, or red lights stopping you almost every block. In those instances, I try really hard to be patient and to thank God for whatever He's helping me avoid by putting these roadblocks in my way. I've seen more than a handful of accidents on my direct route and wonder if it would've been me had I not gotten stopped by 3 red lights in a row or if my children didn't have to give me one more hug even though I was running late to work. It can be difficult, but I try to be grateful for the tests I recognize...even if it means letting that car pass me rather than speeding up and blocking them in. :-)
With the second question, the first thing that comes to my mind are my children. God has given me a great responsibility to teach them and mold them so that they are believers in Jesus. With so many outside influences in the world, that is a huge task, and I feel blessed that God chose me to do it. I've also been blessed by some material things. I was just complaining earlier today as I cleaned up a room that seems to magically reappear as dirty within 24 hours. There were so many other things I'd rather do than clean, but then I realized how great it is to even have a house. With so many families losing their homes or with the economy making it hard for some people to buy a home, I'm grateful to have a dirty room of my own to clean. I do, however, think it's almost time to be a blessing to someone else by offering them a job as a maid a couple times a month.
Day 5 introduces the idea that life is both a test and a trust. We are continually tested from the way the we react to a friend who just lost his job to the way you treat the waitress who still hasn't brought you the Diet Coke you asked for 10 minutes ago. As Christians, it's up to us guard our reactions when life gets tough. It's in these moments that God teaches us about ourselves and opens us up to receive even more of His blessings.
God's entrusts us with many things during our earthly life - relationships, children, houses, clothes, money, etc. We are called to be good stewards over these things, but that doesn't always happen. Have there been times when you yelled at someone over something small just because YOU were having bad day or spent your last $75 on a cute pair of shoes knowing you should've used part of it for gas money instead? God gave us things so that we could take care of them and perhaps use them to help Him blessing another person...not to be mistreated, hoarded, or used irresponsibly.
Today's question asks you to consider two things:
1. What's recently happened in your life that you now realize was a test from God?
2. What are the greatest matters God entrusted to you?
I can name a couple of situations in my life that feel like tests from God. One is definitely my struggle in corporate America. I realize that if I hadn't gone through that situation and really listened to God's voice, I would not be working toward my purpose at all. In fact, this blog wouldn't exist either. :-) A few people have read that story and expressed how much it helped them take a look at their lives and their next moves. It's amazing to hear how God turned tragedy into good. Another situation is driving. I'm usually a very patient person. I try my best not to give in to road rage, but it's hard not to get annoyed when there are 20 minute construction delays, people cutting you off on the highway only to slow to 50mph once they get in front of you, or red lights stopping you almost every block. In those instances, I try really hard to be patient and to thank God for whatever He's helping me avoid by putting these roadblocks in my way. I've seen more than a handful of accidents on my direct route and wonder if it would've been me had I not gotten stopped by 3 red lights in a row or if my children didn't have to give me one more hug even though I was running late to work. It can be difficult, but I try to be grateful for the tests I recognize...even if it means letting that car pass me rather than speeding up and blocking them in. :-)
With the second question, the first thing that comes to my mind are my children. God has given me a great responsibility to teach them and mold them so that they are believers in Jesus. With so many outside influences in the world, that is a huge task, and I feel blessed that God chose me to do it. I've also been blessed by some material things. I was just complaining earlier today as I cleaned up a room that seems to magically reappear as dirty within 24 hours. There were so many other things I'd rather do than clean, but then I realized how great it is to even have a house. With so many families losing their homes or with the economy making it hard for some people to buy a home, I'm grateful to have a dirty room of my own to clean. I do, however, think it's almost time to be a blessing to someone else by offering them a job as a maid a couple times a month.
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Day Three: What Drives Your Life?
Today's Purpose Driven Life lesson is around the driving force or forces in your life. Specifically, what is driving your life today and what you like it be in the future. For the longest time, the driving force in my life was approval. I still struggle with that on a regular basis and have to journal myself calm or talk to a trusted friend who can snap me back into reality. I'd like the driving force in my life to be God's purpose. I've decided to wake up every morning thanking God for staying with me and asking Him to use me as He sees fit. There are many times that He is working in the background to give me an opportunity for a better life or even placing me in someone's path to be a blessing. However, I'll never get that if I allow the devil to steal my joy or make me concerned with pleasing people vs. God.
Rick Warren had a few lines under Day 3 that addressed this - "It is impossible to do everything people want you to do. You have just enough time to do God's will. If you can't get it all done, it means you're trying to do more than God intended for you to do." I've had days like that, very recently, where I couldn't get anything done that I thought was important for the day. Everytime I started, there'd be a distraction or the hardware wouldn't work or I'd get sick or something. However, nothing negative happened when I did what God wanted - reading a book or the Bible (which brings me closer to Him), spending time with the children, working on my business, blogging here. In fact, I was able to focus more on the "worldly work" related to my day job and get it done quicker once I let God have his way first. Things that normally would take 5 hours only took 1.5 hours. I love simplicity God brings, and I need more of that in my life. Instead of trying to be all things to all people, I will live each day asking God to direct my path and use me how He sees fit. When I've done that in the past, things just worked out...things that I thought were impossible became possible.
I am ready to change my driving force. Is there something you need to change, start or stop? Let God be the miracle worker that He is. Even if you can't change it, He can.
Rick Warren had a few lines under Day 3 that addressed this - "It is impossible to do everything people want you to do. You have just enough time to do God's will. If you can't get it all done, it means you're trying to do more than God intended for you to do." I've had days like that, very recently, where I couldn't get anything done that I thought was important for the day. Everytime I started, there'd be a distraction or the hardware wouldn't work or I'd get sick or something. However, nothing negative happened when I did what God wanted - reading a book or the Bible (which brings me closer to Him), spending time with the children, working on my business, blogging here. In fact, I was able to focus more on the "worldly work" related to my day job and get it done quicker once I let God have his way first. Things that normally would take 5 hours only took 1.5 hours. I love simplicity God brings, and I need more of that in my life. Instead of trying to be all things to all people, I will live each day asking God to direct my path and use me how He sees fit. When I've done that in the past, things just worked out...things that I thought were impossible became possible.
I am ready to change my driving force. Is there something you need to change, start or stop? Let God be the miracle worker that He is. Even if you can't change it, He can.
Saturday, September 26, 2009
I'm Scared
For the past couple of weeks, it feels like God has strengthened the desire in me to start my own business. It's to the point where roadblocks go up when I try to work on my day job - yesterday's computer issues are a good example. Rather than leave and run to the nearest "work from home" connection, I did some personal development work. My head is unfocused on the day job than I imagined.
It scares me because I know that starting and running a business again will take a a lot of time, effort and money. I also know that my day job is making me unhappy. However, what I don't know is when to make that leap of faith. I first thought I heard "one year" as the time frame, but now January seems more likely - new year and new business. That's how I started over 5 years ago.
I've found myself going through what I call the "Yes, but" syndrome. Instead of pressing forward, there are excuses like -
"Yes, I could quit tomorrow, but then what about the house, car and utilities? What about money?" or "Yes, but what if I get no clients and have to take a lower paying job in the interim...and can't find one?" or even, "Yes, but I don't have a new computer or the right software or am scared to market my business while I still have my day job." These are all valid concerns, but they are excuses. God ALWAYS provides, especially when you are following His will for your life. He will open doors and windows that you didn't even know existed. You have to step out on faith.
The fact that I'm scared is almost funny to me as I'm not new to starting a business on a shoestring budget. My 1st full-time business was started in my family's house with the computer software I owned at the time. I couldn't afford a formal business telephone line, so I invested less than $20 a month on voicemail. All business cards and logos were created by me, and I spent hours perfecting my web site. Still...I didn't get my first client until 6 months after I'd officially opened my doors. From that day forward, inquiries came on a regular basis, and the work was steady. I stepped out on faith, and God made it happen.
Still...it's hard. I've been meditating on this verse lately - "For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind" (2 Timothy 1:7). I need to remember what God has given us...and it's not fear. Stepping out on faith is important. I know my purpose and the desires that He placed on my heart. I need to trust that God has my back like He always does. Even if I'm not ready to hand in my resignation letter on Monday, I can make steps this weekend and everyday to making full-time entrepreneurship a reality.
So...I'm scared, but I won't let that paralyze me. I'm scared, but I won't let that hold me back from hearing God's voice. I'm scared, but I will take little steps towards my purpose until God tells me it's time to take a big one.
So what are you scared of? What do you need to trust God for? What goals do you have that only God's miracles can make happen? Don't let fear keep you from your purpose.
It scares me because I know that starting and running a business again will take a a lot of time, effort and money. I also know that my day job is making me unhappy. However, what I don't know is when to make that leap of faith. I first thought I heard "one year" as the time frame, but now January seems more likely - new year and new business. That's how I started over 5 years ago.
I've found myself going through what I call the "Yes, but" syndrome. Instead of pressing forward, there are excuses like -
"Yes, I could quit tomorrow, but then what about the house, car and utilities? What about money?" or "Yes, but what if I get no clients and have to take a lower paying job in the interim...and can't find one?" or even, "Yes, but I don't have a new computer or the right software or am scared to market my business while I still have my day job." These are all valid concerns, but they are excuses. God ALWAYS provides, especially when you are following His will for your life. He will open doors and windows that you didn't even know existed. You have to step out on faith.
The fact that I'm scared is almost funny to me as I'm not new to starting a business on a shoestring budget. My 1st full-time business was started in my family's house with the computer software I owned at the time. I couldn't afford a formal business telephone line, so I invested less than $20 a month on voicemail. All business cards and logos were created by me, and I spent hours perfecting my web site. Still...I didn't get my first client until 6 months after I'd officially opened my doors. From that day forward, inquiries came on a regular basis, and the work was steady. I stepped out on faith, and God made it happen.
Still...it's hard. I've been meditating on this verse lately - "For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind" (2 Timothy 1:7). I need to remember what God has given us...and it's not fear. Stepping out on faith is important. I know my purpose and the desires that He placed on my heart. I need to trust that God has my back like He always does. Even if I'm not ready to hand in my resignation letter on Monday, I can make steps this weekend and everyday to making full-time entrepreneurship a reality.
So...I'm scared, but I won't let that paralyze me. I'm scared, but I won't let that hold me back from hearing God's voice. I'm scared, but I will take little steps towards my purpose until God tells me it's time to take a big one.
So what are you scared of? What do you need to trust God for? What goals do you have that only God's miracles can make happen? Don't let fear keep you from your purpose.
Friday, September 25, 2009
Day 2: You Are Not an Accident
Day 2 of The Purpose Driven Life talks about how we're not an accident. God created us and had plans for us before we were even born. How amazing is that! Still, at times we struggle with who God made us to be. I know I've struggled with some things. Perfectionism is something I spoke about earlier in the blog, and I've also struggled with my personal appearance. I've been trying to lose weight for years and have often started a program and stopped in the middle. Rather than feeling bad about who I am, I can instead accept it. Yes, there are some things I'd like to change, but how about praying and letting go rather than stressing out?
God made you, too. What are some things you're struggling to accept in your own life?
God made you, too. What are some things you're struggling to accept in your own life?
Thursday, September 24, 2009
The Purpose Driven Life Journey
As part of the journey to get back to my purpose, I am going to pick up a book that I've started and stopped at least a 2 or 3 times - Pastor Rick Warren's "The Purpose Driven Life." This book takes you on a 40 day journey to discovering your purpose. To keep me accountable, I will journal my thoughts on the chapters here. Feel free to pick up the book and post about your journey as well.
Day 1: It All Starts with God
There's a very good quote on page 19, "...being successful and fulfilling your life's purpose are not at all the same issue! You could reach all your personal goals...and still miss the purposes for which God created you." This struck home for me because I struggled for a good year over why I was unhappy when I had so many things - house, car, job, etc. Though I was successful by the world's standards, it did not feel like enough. Now I see why.
In this chaotic world of "me! me! me!" I can remind myself that life is really about living for God and not myself by paying attention to God's voice all around me. Rather than listen to what I want and what other people want for me, I can instead strive to do what He wants. I feel like I get this message now, but if you asked me a year ago...
So...God has a purpose for us, and that's very encouraging. I'm excited to continue on this path to fully embracing all He has for me.
There's a very good quote on page 19, "...being successful and fulfilling your life's purpose are not at all the same issue! You could reach all your personal goals...and still miss the purposes for which God created you." This struck home for me because I struggled for a good year over why I was unhappy when I had so many things - house, car, job, etc. Though I was successful by the world's standards, it did not feel like enough. Now I see why.
In this chaotic world of "me! me! me!" I can remind myself that life is really about living for God and not myself by paying attention to God's voice all around me. Rather than listen to what I want and what other people want for me, I can instead strive to do what He wants. I feel like I get this message now, but if you asked me a year ago...
So...God has a purpose for us, and that's very encouraging. I'm excited to continue on this path to fully embracing all He has for me.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
The Process to Purpose
It's been at least a month since I first wrote about rediscovering God's purpose for my life. You can tell from my post that I was excited to start living in it, but I didn't do that right away. Despite this big revelation from God, I was still stuck in feeling bad about my work situation and even how some things were going personally. I couldn't understand why I had such conflicting emotions: one part of me was ready to jump head first into God's vision for my life, but the other part couldn't move past the pain I wrote about in the first blog post. Why did it still hurt so much?
A month later, I understand why. There is a process to this purpose thing:
- Step 1: Be receptive to God's voice. If you've read my first blog post, you'll remember that I was hearing Him loud and clear. :-) I know my purpose is related to entrepreneurship and empowering others.
- Step 2: Allow yourself to feel and then move through the negative emotions of the past. This is where I got stuck. I tried to convince myself that I was done with the pain, when in fact, I never addressed it. I was putting on the "Everything is just fine" face as a front for coworkers, friends and family. One night I decided that I had enough. I cried out to God (literally) and told Him about all my pain, frustrations, anger, and hurt. I praised Him for getting me through this far and told him to take away the pain. I was too tired to keep carrying it. I had kept so much bottled up over the past year that after at least an hour of crying, I fell asleep. I woke up feeling a little better, but some of the negativity was still there. That's when I had to move on to Step 3.
- Step 3: Forgive yourself. Though it's been hard, I made a point to pray for those who hurt me over this past year. I forgave them for the pain they caused me and even wish them well. However, I never took the time to forgive myself for the pain I caused others by dwelling in negativity...and I had done some bad things. I made work a god, neglected my family and friends, neglected my health, lost confidence in my abilities, and even lost a piece of me. As silly as it may sound, I looked myself in the mirror, apologized and forgave.
- Step 4: Get to the root of what took you off track. My revelation came as I was journaling about a completely different topic. Then in the side bar I wrote a little note, "I'm tired of letting my want of perfection drag me down!" Aha! That was it! I stopped living my life on purpose because I thought I had to be perfect. Anytime I wasn't perfect/acting like a superhero, I took it as an indication that I was letting myself and others down. Because the past year had been one imperfection after another, I started letting people define me instead of letting God define me. I let others make me feel "less than" and forgot that I am created in God's image. All my life I had been striving to be that perfect person, and while it got me far in places like school, ultimately it was tearing me apart. From that moment on, I decided to be ok with my faults. I am no longer going to hurt myself or those around me to be perfect. After making that commitment and sharing it with others, the negative emotions went away. To make sure they don't come back, I've made a plan to reframe my thinking. I also shared this with close family and friends so they can hold me accountable if they see me drifting back into those negative emotions. Now , my mind is free to think of all the ways I can bring God's purpose to life. I also thank God for learning this lesson so the test does not need to be repeated. :-)
Step 5: Take actionable steps to living your life on purpose. To bring this to fruition in my own life, I create weekly goals. Because my roadblock was perfectionism, my initial goals are purposely small. This way I will be able to achieve them, feel good about moving closer to my purpose and not get sucked back into thinking I need to be a superhero at all times.
Have you gone through this process? If so, were you able to figure out what's been holding you back all these years? Did you devise a plan so that the roadblock won't come back easily? Are you taking actionable steps toward your purpose?
Remember that you're not alone in this. I'd love to hear how you're doing and offer my support!
A month later, I understand why. There is a process to this purpose thing:
- Step 1: Be receptive to God's voice. If you've read my first blog post, you'll remember that I was hearing Him loud and clear. :-) I know my purpose is related to entrepreneurship and empowering others.
- Step 2: Allow yourself to feel and then move through the negative emotions of the past. This is where I got stuck. I tried to convince myself that I was done with the pain, when in fact, I never addressed it. I was putting on the "Everything is just fine" face as a front for coworkers, friends and family. One night I decided that I had enough. I cried out to God (literally) and told Him about all my pain, frustrations, anger, and hurt. I praised Him for getting me through this far and told him to take away the pain. I was too tired to keep carrying it. I had kept so much bottled up over the past year that after at least an hour of crying, I fell asleep. I woke up feeling a little better, but some of the negativity was still there. That's when I had to move on to Step 3.
- Step 3: Forgive yourself. Though it's been hard, I made a point to pray for those who hurt me over this past year. I forgave them for the pain they caused me and even wish them well. However, I never took the time to forgive myself for the pain I caused others by dwelling in negativity...and I had done some bad things. I made work a god, neglected my family and friends, neglected my health, lost confidence in my abilities, and even lost a piece of me. As silly as it may sound, I looked myself in the mirror, apologized and forgave.
- Step 4: Get to the root of what took you off track. My revelation came as I was journaling about a completely different topic. Then in the side bar I wrote a little note, "I'm tired of letting my want of perfection drag me down!" Aha! That was it! I stopped living my life on purpose because I thought I had to be perfect. Anytime I wasn't perfect/acting like a superhero, I took it as an indication that I was letting myself and others down. Because the past year had been one imperfection after another, I started letting people define me instead of letting God define me. I let others make me feel "less than" and forgot that I am created in God's image. All my life I had been striving to be that perfect person, and while it got me far in places like school, ultimately it was tearing me apart. From that moment on, I decided to be ok with my faults. I am no longer going to hurt myself or those around me to be perfect. After making that commitment and sharing it with others, the negative emotions went away. To make sure they don't come back, I've made a plan to reframe my thinking. I also shared this with close family and friends so they can hold me accountable if they see me drifting back into those negative emotions. Now , my mind is free to think of all the ways I can bring God's purpose to life. I also thank God for learning this lesson so the test does not need to be repeated. :-)
Step 5: Take actionable steps to living your life on purpose. To bring this to fruition in my own life, I create weekly goals. Because my roadblock was perfectionism, my initial goals are purposely small. This way I will be able to achieve them, feel good about moving closer to my purpose and not get sucked back into thinking I need to be a superhero at all times.
Have you gone through this process? If so, were you able to figure out what's been holding you back all these years? Did you devise a plan so that the roadblock won't come back easily? Are you taking actionable steps toward your purpose?
Remember that you're not alone in this. I'd love to hear how you're doing and offer my support!
Thursday, August 27, 2009
God Has a Sense of Humor
As part of moving toward my purpose, I am going back through some of the documents I created when I started my technology business over 5 years ago. As I read through the business plan, something funny caught my eye:
'Management Team Gaps: With our current management team and strategic alliances, we have a solid foundation for success. Right now, we are weakest in the areas of {insert my corporate America areas of expertise}. We are seeking one professional and one intern to fill these gaps.'
Ok God. I understand that you put me in this situation for a reason. Five+ years later, and I guess the management team gaps are being filled. HE is so funny. :-)
'Management Team Gaps: With our current management team and strategic alliances, we have a solid foundation for success. Right now, we are weakest in the areas of {insert my corporate America areas of expertise}. We are seeking one professional and one intern to fill these gaps.'
Ok God. I understand that you put me in this situation for a reason. Five+ years later, and I guess the management team gaps are being filled. HE is so funny. :-)
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Listening to God's Purpose for Your Life
Have you ever been in a situation where everything was going great, and then out of nowhere, you get thrown a curveball? Work going well, relationship wonderful, and house in order…then BOOM…your boss writes you up for what feels like nothing, your significant other walks out and your house needs more repairs in one week than it needed in 1 year. Instead of screaming, “Lord, why me?! What did I do wrong?” think, “Lord what are You trying to tell me?” Sometimes God uses these difficult situations to shake us out of our complacency. Maybe you know the relationship you’re in isn’t the healthiest, but you don’t know how to leave; or you feel the urge to move from your current location but are scared because of the economy. You could even be like me: feeling stuck and praying for a breakthrough only to get frustrated when it happens. Let me step back a bit to help you understand…
I’ve always been an entrepreneur at heart. From the ages of 6 to 13 my friends and I had several side businesses. From selling candy to greeting cards to friendship bracelets to even bags of sugared Kool-Aid, we did it all. I wasn’t always about the business though. When I wasn’t selling, I made a point to tutor my friends, volunteer around the neighborhood and be of service where needed. This trend continued through high school and college. I tried working for a small business directly after college where the boss was a micromanager. It DID NOT work at all. I ended up quitting and went off to technical school. Yes, I already had a BA, but this place was teaching me web and graphic design skills. I also kept volunteering. Though I’d walked away from small business in college, I started back up again after the technical school program flopped. I went straight into technology consulting. I also kept my ties with the nonprofit community by writing grants and programming ideas. I loved it all, well everything except the unsteady paycheck and minimal health benefits. :-) Still, my business was gaining clients and I felt things were right.
Then I got an inkling. Actually it was more so God helping me with my next move. His message of “Go back to school” was heard loud and clear. I saw everything fall into place: money, apartment, GMAT test prep, counseling, etc. I listened, and God made it happen. I know you may be thinking, “Why get an MBA? Isn’t that for the corporate finance type folks?” Well, that’s true, but it can also be for people who realize that it’s best to learn how to run a business from people who have done it. I learned a lot, but I’ll admit I lost focus. It started as I was preparing for business school and learning where many MBA graduates went to work after graduation. No one pressured me to join corporate America, but I was exposed. J Then came the internship process between 1st and 2nd year of school. Instead of focusing on my own business, I decided to interview for a corporation. I thought, “Hmmm…why not? It can’t hurt.” Little did I know? :-) I had a great summer and fell in love with the corporation’s message, people and ideals. I thought it was unlike any of the crazy stories I’d heard of places that would suck you dry and work you to death. No, this would be different. I got invited to come back full-time and accepted the offer. Life was good: new house, new car, suburban neighborhood, good at work, good schools for the kids…heck, we even got a dog! In the midst of this “good life,” I forgot who I was. God told me to go to school so I could learn as much as I could. Then I’d take that knowledge and apply it to my own business that would help others and bring them closer to Him. That’s also why I came to corporate America. As I said, what better way to learn about running a business than by working for a million dollar one? I came in with that objective. I was even encouraged to take trainings, try new things on projects and become a better person. I still worked on my technology consulting business in the background.
Then a shift happened. People at work transitioned, and then I transitioned, too – but in a different way. I spent most of my waking hours worried about work – how could I do more, how could I show that I was smarter, how could I stay longer to convince people that my purpose was there? That I was a corporate-focused person just like them. I believe it was in that moment when God stepped in. He’d always been there, but I think stopped listening when the conversation turned toward work. He tried to throw hints of my true purpose at me – with no formal advertising I’d get technology consulting requests regularly. I’d either ignore them completely or pass the leads on to my friends. I saw a few folks leave to start businesses and didn’t even get a twinge of “Oh yeah, I should do that, too.” Instead, my mind focused on being a better employee. God tried so hard to be subtle, but I was just NOT hearing Him. Yes, I was feeling stuck and uneasy about my corporate life. Yes, I was praying for a breakthrough, but my limited focus was making me ask for ways to be a better employee, not a better employer/business owner as He revealed to me early on.
So what do you think happened next? Remember where we are in the story: Girl finds purpose. Girl loses purpose. God whispers; girl ignores. God raises His voice slightly; girl still doesn’t get the hint. I’m pretty sure you know the next step God took: He SHOUTED! I mean really let loose. He completely knocked me out of my comfort zone by using the one thing I’d gotten so comfortable with…my corporate life. In a matter of months, I went from being a growing rock star to someone who couldn’t do anything right in her boss’ eyes. I was going above and beyond, even in the minds of my coworkers, but still got no credit. I could have 10 examples of how my work was being undermined and was still told to fix it on my own. WTH(eck)! :-) Still…I didn’t fully listen. I worked harder and longer – 10+ hour days. It got to where I was so tired, I barely had enough energy to play with the kids or cook a good meal. Did it help at work? No. I got credit for nothing. In fact, performance review time rolled around, and I was told that I wasn’t making the cut.
As much as it hurt my ego to be constantly told I wasn’t performing at work (which didn’t feel entirely true), I realized that it was God’s way of getting my attention. I thought I was on the right path, but every day I was moving further and further away from my purpose. Lord, I am finally listening. You have jarred me out of my complacency in terms of Your purpose for me. The obvious next question is: so what are you going to do about it? God has spoken again. Will you listen, or go back to doing what made you feel stuck, unhappy and unfulfilled? Are you going to let the devil trick you into thinking that your plans are better than God’s plans? I know I’m not. God has already shouted. I surely don’t want an earthquake next time. :-)
Like I said, I’m in the middle of my story. I am choosing to listen to God. Now, does that mean I walked out of my corporate gig immediately or put my house up for sale with no regard for my family’s wellbeing? No, not at all. God revealed my purpose to me (or rather re-revealed) it to give me a better life. There are still a million questions running through my head like:
- How long can I stay here before I need to leave?
- What about work? A roadblock has been removed. How do I use that to God’s advantage?
- Is small business/nonprofit (enter your idea here) really my purpose?
- What about bills, family, moving?
- What will others think?
- Will it be hard?
In my life, the phrase, “1 year” keeps sticking in my mind. My kids start school next week, so moving now isn’t ideal. We also need to save money, clean the house and plan out the true next steps. I trust God to direct my path. I’m sure the next year won’t be easy, especially on my ego, but I know I’ll be better for it in the end. I can’t worry about what other people think because it won’t help. It can even make a person backtrack. I still have to guard my thoughts when it comes to my coworkers. I can’t dwell on jealous thoughts of “why not me?” because I already know the answer. It’s not me because this isn’t my purpose. Thank God for the wise counselors He put in my life to make this clearer.
Ok…the lesson has been learned. There will still be some bumps in the road, but God will help me work through them. I am ready to have balance in my life again. I am ready to have true passion for my work. I am ready for a change. Most important, I am ready to fulfill His purpose for my life. Are you? Let’s step out on faith and start the journey together!
I’ve always been an entrepreneur at heart. From the ages of 6 to 13 my friends and I had several side businesses. From selling candy to greeting cards to friendship bracelets to even bags of sugared Kool-Aid, we did it all. I wasn’t always about the business though. When I wasn’t selling, I made a point to tutor my friends, volunteer around the neighborhood and be of service where needed. This trend continued through high school and college. I tried working for a small business directly after college where the boss was a micromanager. It DID NOT work at all. I ended up quitting and went off to technical school. Yes, I already had a BA, but this place was teaching me web and graphic design skills. I also kept volunteering. Though I’d walked away from small business in college, I started back up again after the technical school program flopped. I went straight into technology consulting. I also kept my ties with the nonprofit community by writing grants and programming ideas. I loved it all, well everything except the unsteady paycheck and minimal health benefits. :-) Still, my business was gaining clients and I felt things were right.
Then I got an inkling. Actually it was more so God helping me with my next move. His message of “Go back to school” was heard loud and clear. I saw everything fall into place: money, apartment, GMAT test prep, counseling, etc. I listened, and God made it happen. I know you may be thinking, “Why get an MBA? Isn’t that for the corporate finance type folks?” Well, that’s true, but it can also be for people who realize that it’s best to learn how to run a business from people who have done it. I learned a lot, but I’ll admit I lost focus. It started as I was preparing for business school and learning where many MBA graduates went to work after graduation. No one pressured me to join corporate America, but I was exposed. J Then came the internship process between 1st and 2nd year of school. Instead of focusing on my own business, I decided to interview for a corporation. I thought, “Hmmm…why not? It can’t hurt.” Little did I know? :-) I had a great summer and fell in love with the corporation’s message, people and ideals. I thought it was unlike any of the crazy stories I’d heard of places that would suck you dry and work you to death. No, this would be different. I got invited to come back full-time and accepted the offer. Life was good: new house, new car, suburban neighborhood, good at work, good schools for the kids…heck, we even got a dog! In the midst of this “good life,” I forgot who I was. God told me to go to school so I could learn as much as I could. Then I’d take that knowledge and apply it to my own business that would help others and bring them closer to Him. That’s also why I came to corporate America. As I said, what better way to learn about running a business than by working for a million dollar one? I came in with that objective. I was even encouraged to take trainings, try new things on projects and become a better person. I still worked on my technology consulting business in the background.
Then a shift happened. People at work transitioned, and then I transitioned, too – but in a different way. I spent most of my waking hours worried about work – how could I do more, how could I show that I was smarter, how could I stay longer to convince people that my purpose was there? That I was a corporate-focused person just like them. I believe it was in that moment when God stepped in. He’d always been there, but I think stopped listening when the conversation turned toward work. He tried to throw hints of my true purpose at me – with no formal advertising I’d get technology consulting requests regularly. I’d either ignore them completely or pass the leads on to my friends. I saw a few folks leave to start businesses and didn’t even get a twinge of “Oh yeah, I should do that, too.” Instead, my mind focused on being a better employee. God tried so hard to be subtle, but I was just NOT hearing Him. Yes, I was feeling stuck and uneasy about my corporate life. Yes, I was praying for a breakthrough, but my limited focus was making me ask for ways to be a better employee, not a better employer/business owner as He revealed to me early on.
So what do you think happened next? Remember where we are in the story: Girl finds purpose. Girl loses purpose. God whispers; girl ignores. God raises His voice slightly; girl still doesn’t get the hint. I’m pretty sure you know the next step God took: He SHOUTED! I mean really let loose. He completely knocked me out of my comfort zone by using the one thing I’d gotten so comfortable with…my corporate life. In a matter of months, I went from being a growing rock star to someone who couldn’t do anything right in her boss’ eyes. I was going above and beyond, even in the minds of my coworkers, but still got no credit. I could have 10 examples of how my work was being undermined and was still told to fix it on my own. WTH(eck)! :-) Still…I didn’t fully listen. I worked harder and longer – 10+ hour days. It got to where I was so tired, I barely had enough energy to play with the kids or cook a good meal. Did it help at work? No. I got credit for nothing. In fact, performance review time rolled around, and I was told that I wasn’t making the cut.
As much as it hurt my ego to be constantly told I wasn’t performing at work (which didn’t feel entirely true), I realized that it was God’s way of getting my attention. I thought I was on the right path, but every day I was moving further and further away from my purpose. Lord, I am finally listening. You have jarred me out of my complacency in terms of Your purpose for me. The obvious next question is: so what are you going to do about it? God has spoken again. Will you listen, or go back to doing what made you feel stuck, unhappy and unfulfilled? Are you going to let the devil trick you into thinking that your plans are better than God’s plans? I know I’m not. God has already shouted. I surely don’t want an earthquake next time. :-)
Like I said, I’m in the middle of my story. I am choosing to listen to God. Now, does that mean I walked out of my corporate gig immediately or put my house up for sale with no regard for my family’s wellbeing? No, not at all. God revealed my purpose to me (or rather re-revealed) it to give me a better life. There are still a million questions running through my head like:
- How long can I stay here before I need to leave?
- What about work? A roadblock has been removed. How do I use that to God’s advantage?
- Is small business/nonprofit (enter your idea here) really my purpose?
- What about bills, family, moving?
- What will others think?
- Will it be hard?
In my life, the phrase, “1 year” keeps sticking in my mind. My kids start school next week, so moving now isn’t ideal. We also need to save money, clean the house and plan out the true next steps. I trust God to direct my path. I’m sure the next year won’t be easy, especially on my ego, but I know I’ll be better for it in the end. I can’t worry about what other people think because it won’t help. It can even make a person backtrack. I still have to guard my thoughts when it comes to my coworkers. I can’t dwell on jealous thoughts of “why not me?” because I already know the answer. It’s not me because this isn’t my purpose. Thank God for the wise counselors He put in my life to make this clearer.
Ok…the lesson has been learned. There will still be some bumps in the road, but God will help me work through them. I am ready to have balance in my life again. I am ready to have true passion for my work. I am ready for a change. Most important, I am ready to fulfill His purpose for my life. Are you? Let’s step out on faith and start the journey together!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)