I'm Scared - For the Grown Folks

Hello blog family.  It's been awhile since I posted.  We will pick up with Day 8 of "The Purpose Driven Life" soon, but I felt compelled to write an addendum to the "I'm Scared" post written earlier in this blog.  I wrote about how it was my choice as a college student to leave a job that didn't utilize my skills and talents and only afforded me a paycheck.  As someone who is still working her corporate day job but completely unhappy and ready to go, I sit here and wonder why I didn't take my own advice and just leave.  Well...here's what I discovered...

Life has changed dramatically since I left my post as copy girl.  I am a homeowner with a mortgage.  I have children who enjoy eating and wearing clothes (though with the youngest the clothes are debateable). I have vehicles with monthly car notes due.  Because we like electricity, water, and the garbage not collecting in a heap inside the garage, those bills must be paid, too.  I, like many of you, have become a victim of stuff.  Stuff can get in the way when you least expect it. Why do we hold onto jobs we no longer enjoy?  Why do we drive 25 miles one way only to wish we were back in our beds?  Why do we neglect our children for 3 hours to finish that last email or phone call only to find them asleep when we tear ourselves away from the computer?  Most times it's not because we love it or enjoy giving the best hours of our day to a job that someone else owns.  No, it's because we want to keep our stuff.  What we need to remember, what I need to remember, is that God always provides - “Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow...." Matthew 6:31-34 NIV

We can become so trapped by things that we forget to seek God and His guidance. Instead, we try to make things happen by ourselves.  We go back to the "Yes, God, I could leave this job, but since I've got all this stuff to pay for I think I'll stick it out," or, "I know you just blessed me with 10 client leads, but I don't know if they will pay on time.  I think I'll pass those on to someone else who has the time to chase them."  Well, my friends, that is not the way to go - "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths." - Proverbs 3:5-6 NIV

The two verses mentioned above are what I'm using to step out on faith and change my situation.  My life is very different than 10+ years ago when I left my post as copy girl and even 5+ years ago when I was living in my family's house starting my technology business.  I acknowledge that I have gotten caught up in accumulating a bunch of stuff and therefore limited some of my mobility. However, I know that if I trust God, He will open doors that I never imagined would open.  It's true for you, too.  This does not mean giving up the purpose God placed on your heart.  No, it means that you need to create a viable plan to achieve it.  For me, that means changing my current work situation so that I can be in an environment conducive to working on my business when I get home and on the weekends.  Right now thoughts of my current job take up so many of my thoughts that I need to just let it go.  Rather than just complain, I have actually put applications in at several local companies.  Pray for me ya'll.  If it's for me, then God will open that door.  I do still have strong entrepreneurial desires and a better day job will enable me to put those pieces together quicker.  The economy is crazy right now, and jobs seem to be scarce.  However, I have to trust God, stop worrying and step out on faith.  He's never let me down yet...especially when it really mattered.

So...in the midst of all your grown folks stuff - house, car, kids, gym memberships, shopping habits, etc. - are you willing to modify your plans enough to make way for God's purpose?  Remember, it may not mean leaving your job, relationship, hometown, school, etc. tomorrow, but it does mean trusting God and taking tiny steps toward your purpose.  That's how grown folks make it happen.  :-)

I'm Scared

For the past couple of weeks, it feels like God has strengthened the desire in me to start my own business. It's to the point where roadblocks go up when I try to work on my day job - yesterday's computer issues are a good example. Rather than leave and run to the nearest "work from home" connection, I did some personal development work. My head is unfocused on the day job than I imagined.

It scares me because I know that starting and running a business again will take a a lot of time, effort and money. I also know that my day job is making me unhappy. However, what I don't know is when to make that leap of faith. I first thought I heard "one year" as the time frame, but now January seems more likely - new year and new business. That's how I started over 5 years ago.

I've found myself going through what I call the "Yes, but" syndrome. Instead of pressing forward, there are excuses like -

"Yes, I could quit tomorrow, but then what about the house, car and utilities? What about money?" or "Yes, but what if I get no clients and have to take a lower paying job in the interim...and can't find one?" or even, "Yes, but I don't have a new computer or the right software or am scared to market my business while I still have my day job." These are all valid concerns, but they are excuses. God ALWAYS provides, especially when you are following His will for your life. He will open doors and windows that you didn't even know existed. You have to step out on faith.

The fact that I'm scared is almost funny to me as I'm not new to starting a business on a shoestring budget. My 1st full-time business was started in my family's house with the computer software I owned at the time. I couldn't afford a formal business telephone line, so I invested less than $20 a month on voicemail. All business cards and logos were created by me, and I spent hours perfecting my web site. Still...I didn't get my first client until 6 months after I'd officially opened my doors. From that day forward, inquiries came on a regular basis, and the work was steady. I stepped out on faith, and God made it happen.

Still...it's hard. I've been meditating on this verse lately - "For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind" (2 Timothy 1:7). I need to remember what God has given us...and it's not fear. Stepping out on faith is important. I know my purpose and the desires that He placed on my heart. I need to trust that God has my back like He always does. Even if I'm not ready to hand in my resignation letter on Monday, I can make steps this weekend and everyday to making full-time entrepreneurship a reality.

So...I'm scared, but I won't let that paralyze me. I'm scared, but I won't let that hold me back from hearing God's voice. I'm scared, but I will take little steps towards my purpose until God tells me it's time to take a big one.

So what are you scared of? What do you need to trust God for? What goals do you have that only God's miracles can make happen? Don't let fear keep you from your purpose.