What I Know for Sure

I'll admit it - I'm a fan of "O" Magazine. I'm been subscribing since a relative gave it to me as agift a few years ago.  I'd like to take a page from Oprah and talk about "What I Know for Sure."  As I've been on this path to living God's purpose for me, I've come to realize a couple truths that I can't run from:

1. I am not meant to work for someone else long-term, and
2. I am only hurting myself by limiting my prayers or waiting on other people to make a way for me

I've gotten into "trouble" too many times because of these issues.  In terms of being an employee, I think I took for granted the freedom of entrepreneurship until I started working for someone else.  This happened in both Corporate America and when working for other small businesses as an employee.  I'm fine for awhile when working for those who care to understand and who let me use my own work style to get results.  Otherwise, there are problems when my "self-aware" self has trouble conforming.  So what am I doing about this? Remember the earlier "Do Something" post.  Now that I have accepted this truth about myself, I am being more diligent about promoting myself, my skills and my talents to others.  God gave me these gifts to be a blessing to others, and I don't want to waste that opportunity.  I also feel like He didn't place these desires in my heart for nothing.  If I continue to stay in the faith, He will open doors for me. 

I've only come to realize the 2nd truth in the past couple weeks after re-reading some of my journal posts.  I would place limits on what I wanted God to do for me rather than letting God bless me how he saw fit.  For example, over the past year I asked God to let people at my current job like me more/see my value to the team/appreciate my style instead of simply asking for career breakthrough (even if it lead me to a new industry).  In relationships I remember asking God to fix my current situation vs. asking His will be done (even if it lead me to new friendships).  This has to change because I don't want to limit God's blessings in my life.  Maybe He wants to move me into a better job or entrepreneurship vs. being an employee.  How can He enlarge my territory if I've already pre-defined it in my prayers? It makes NO sense. 

The second half of the 2nd truth is also something I've done too much of lately - wait on other people.  This could be literally running late because my family or a friend is moving like molasses.  It could also mean me waiting until "the perfect time" before scheduling a vacation or going out to eat or finding a cleaning lady or quitting a job or whatever.  I'm tired of waiting on others, especially when God has given me the means to make the next move.  On the work side, I realize I should've made an exit plan a long time ago, but I waited to see if others were going to take care of me as they said.  Personally, I've waited on family and friends to do a lot of things.  It happens with the kids, too.  Heck, I just need to go.  :-)  It also speaks to how I tend to put others' needs before my own.  I don't want to turn into a selfish person, but I can't be someone who never takes care of her own needs.  I can't be a blessing to others if I'm burned out.

So what do you know for sure?  Are there things about yourself you've tried to ignore but keep coming back?  Maybe you're a natural salesman, have a green thumb or can get even the most rebellious teenager to listen to you.  Share those truths in the comment section.  We can learn from each other.

I'm Scared - For the Grown Folks

Hello blog family.  It's been awhile since I posted.  We will pick up with Day 8 of "The Purpose Driven Life" soon, but I felt compelled to write an addendum to the "I'm Scared" post written earlier in this blog.  I wrote about how it was my choice as a college student to leave a job that didn't utilize my skills and talents and only afforded me a paycheck.  As someone who is still working her corporate day job but completely unhappy and ready to go, I sit here and wonder why I didn't take my own advice and just leave.  Well...here's what I discovered...

Life has changed dramatically since I left my post as copy girl.  I am a homeowner with a mortgage.  I have children who enjoy eating and wearing clothes (though with the youngest the clothes are debateable). I have vehicles with monthly car notes due.  Because we like electricity, water, and the garbage not collecting in a heap inside the garage, those bills must be paid, too.  I, like many of you, have become a victim of stuff.  Stuff can get in the way when you least expect it. Why do we hold onto jobs we no longer enjoy?  Why do we drive 25 miles one way only to wish we were back in our beds?  Why do we neglect our children for 3 hours to finish that last email or phone call only to find them asleep when we tear ourselves away from the computer?  Most times it's not because we love it or enjoy giving the best hours of our day to a job that someone else owns.  No, it's because we want to keep our stuff.  What we need to remember, what I need to remember, is that God always provides - “Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow...." Matthew 6:31-34 NIV

We can become so trapped by things that we forget to seek God and His guidance. Instead, we try to make things happen by ourselves.  We go back to the "Yes, God, I could leave this job, but since I've got all this stuff to pay for I think I'll stick it out," or, "I know you just blessed me with 10 client leads, but I don't know if they will pay on time.  I think I'll pass those on to someone else who has the time to chase them."  Well, my friends, that is not the way to go - "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths." - Proverbs 3:5-6 NIV

The two verses mentioned above are what I'm using to step out on faith and change my situation.  My life is very different than 10+ years ago when I left my post as copy girl and even 5+ years ago when I was living in my family's house starting my technology business.  I acknowledge that I have gotten caught up in accumulating a bunch of stuff and therefore limited some of my mobility. However, I know that if I trust God, He will open doors that I never imagined would open.  It's true for you, too.  This does not mean giving up the purpose God placed on your heart.  No, it means that you need to create a viable plan to achieve it.  For me, that means changing my current work situation so that I can be in an environment conducive to working on my business when I get home and on the weekends.  Right now thoughts of my current job take up so many of my thoughts that I need to just let it go.  Rather than just complain, I have actually put applications in at several local companies.  Pray for me ya'll.  If it's for me, then God will open that door.  I do still have strong entrepreneurial desires and a better day job will enable me to put those pieces together quicker.  The economy is crazy right now, and jobs seem to be scarce.  However, I have to trust God, stop worrying and step out on faith.  He's never let me down yet...especially when it really mattered.

So...in the midst of all your grown folks stuff - house, car, kids, gym memberships, shopping habits, etc. - are you willing to modify your plans enough to make way for God's purpose?  Remember, it may not mean leaving your job, relationship, hometown, school, etc. tomorrow, but it does mean trusting God and taking tiny steps toward your purpose.  That's how grown folks make it happen.  :-)

It's Your Choice

I remember the first time I took a job just for the money.  I was a sophomore in college and thought I'd hit the jackpot - one of the highest work study jobs at the time - $11/hour!  What great role did I play on the team?  What kind of problem was I solving for this type of money?  Well...I was the official "copy girl!"  Yes, my entire job consisted of copying reports, collating them and putting them into a bin for distribution.  This was clearly in the days before emailing documents became popular.  :-)

For the 1st month, my job was good.  I'd stand or sit at the copier for 10+ hours/week, make my reports, chat to my coworkers and collect my paycheck.  After 40 hours, at least 10 copier breakdowns and more papercuts than I care to remember, I couldn't take it anymore.  I was a college student with strategic thinking skills, computer know how and a host of other talents...but no one cared.  I remember thinking I'd made a breakthrough when I showed a coworker how to fix his computer.  I surely thought someone would recognize my other talents and ask me to be more than the girl who stood by the copier all week...but no...that never happened.  People went "Wow! I didn't know you could fix computers! Did you finish copying those reports yet?"  :-|

That was the day I decided my happiness was worth more than $11/hour.  Luckily, leaving wasn't difficult.  Being a college student, I had the excuse of "my class schedule changed, so I can't work here anymore."  It was a common line, and there was always another student eager for the $11/hour paycheck.

I realize that things aren't so easy as an adult.  There is no changing class schedule excuse that can be used to end most full-time jobs.  So what do you do when you find yourself in a job situation where the only motivation is the paycheck?  How do you keep going when your management team doesn't appreciate you?  What gets you up in the morning when your daily tasks become boring?  What happens when you feel stuck.  After all, there's no finite time limit.

In those moments, you need to remember that you always have a choice.  If you've got a history with the team, coworkers you love, and even the slightest hint of company loyalty, it will be difficult to leave.  However, is a paycheck worth your sanity and self-worth?  Pray over your situation and ask God to lead you in the right direction.  Remember...it's your choice.